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Remember onesies? They’re back!

Greg Devine


Remember onesies Theyre back

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About a decade ago, the all-in-one pyjama set was all the rage. Coming in many different styles, they made the perfect gift. You could even demonstrate your personality through your choice of ‘onesie’. When they first hit the market, I was only about nine or ten, and I was a big fan of Nintendo and Pokémon back then. Naturally, when I saw a Pikachu onesie, I just had to convince my mum to grab it for me. I still have it to this day, though at 6 foot 2, I don’t think it will fit me anymore!

Liz Truss talks about growing the economy, and whilst the current forecast is one of doom and gloom for most enterprises, it seems that some sectors have seen a surge in sales—such as the sellers of onesies. Due to people not being able to afford their energy bills and being forced to switch off their heating, they’ve had to resort to wearing more layers. And onesies could provide all the warmth you need.

Its capitalism at its finest. Cold because energy bills are ridiculous? Buy a pink, fluffy onesie and feel toasty. Hooded blankets are also flying off the shelves. I love to snuggle into mine with a brew before settling down to watch a true crime documentary. But are these things cheap? No, of course not—is anything cheap right now? Dunelm sells a hooded blanket for £18, which is one of the cheapest I could find—I imagined they would be inexpensive. Should you lust after the crème de la crème of hooded blankets, you’ll be looking at an ‘Oodie’. A plain navy Oodie will set you back £84; however, the manufacturer is feeling generous at the moment and offering customers a whole tenner off. This great deal means an Oodie could be yours for just £74. What a small price to pay for no central heating!

Oodie explains on its website why its hooded blanket is better than its competitors, and why it costs four times as much. Apparently, this is because Oodies are 10% longer and 100% more fun than similar products from their competitors. That’s an actual quote from their website…because it covers more of your legs, you need to pay £60 more.

Onesies from Debenhams will set you back around £30. Cheaper than an Oodie, and the onesie covers all of your legs. And, since it envelops you, surely a onesie is more fun than an Oodie?

They’re both being promoted as the perfect Christmas gift, but a lot of people won’t be able to fork out that much money on a present anyway. The fact that these garments are exploiting the cost-of-living crisis rubs me up the wrong way. It’s everything that’s wrong with this country at the moment—it just seems to be cases of the rich getting richer. Maybe when everyone is sick because they can’t heat their homes and they can’t go to work, the rich may feel moved to do something. Empty offices, shops and factories would seriously hurt those capitalists’ all-important profit margins.

Maybe Liz Truss has invested in the onesie, Oodie and hooded blanket markets. Maybe that’s why she’s so determined to break the economy and see people unable to keep warm in their own homes. She’s got to be benefitting somehow…her interest in pork markets can’t be bringing her that much of a return…

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